Paula Kaplan-Reiss

Therapy for Older Adolescents, Adults, and Couples

Thank you for taking the time to visit my website. Here you will find some information about my practice, my experience, my qualifications, my areas of specialization, and how I can help you with your therapy needs.

As a licensed psychologist for over 35 years, I currently practice teletherapy for clients who are New

Jersey residents. From your laptop, iPad, or cell phone, we can simply, comfortably and confidentially

work together.

Whether you are suffering from depression, anxiety, marital distress, grief, loss or infertility, seeking the professional services of a psychologist is an important first step in improving the emotional quality of your life. Choosing a therapist with highly developed skills and experience is critical. However, the relationship and level of trust that evolve between a psychologist and a client can be just as important to successful treatment.

Please take the time to explore my website and feel free to contact me with any questions.

PHONE: 732.754.6601

Services

General Practice Specialties

Specialties

Infertility Counseling

Adoption Counseling

Miscarriage | Stillbirth | Neonatal Loss

Couples Counseling

Anxiety
Depression
Postpartum Mood Disorder
Mood Disorders
Personality Disorders
Grief and Loss
Dysfunctional Relationships
Family Conflict
Couples Conflict
Infertility
Adoption Concerns
Trauma
Anger
Sexuality Concerns
LGBTQ Issues
Family Members of Substance Abusers
Victims of Child/Sexual Abuse

I have a general practice and enjoy working with older adolescents, adults and couples. While I do not work with young children directly, I do consult with parents about their child rearing concerns and help them develop effective strategies in parenting. Should a child need to be seen individually, I can make an appropriate referral. I have extensive training and experience working with the following issues and populations.

Grief and Loss

Specialties

Adoption Counseling

Couples Counseling

Miscarriage | Stillbirth | Neonatal Loss

Infertility Counseling

Grief and Loss

Infertility Counseling

Planning to have a family, for many, begins early in life. For others, having a baby is the next logical step in the life cycle, often, but not always following finding a mate and establishing a career. When becoming pregnant does not happen easily, many women and couples enter the difficult world of intrusive medical procedures, a social life filled with the babies of friends and family, and an emotional onslaught of depression, anxiety, anger, despair and envy. Through my personal and professional experience over several decades, I have been able to develop a safe and supportive therapeutic environment to help those struggling with this life crisis.

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We can address:

Coping effectively with failed cycles
Deciding how far to pursue medical treatment
Maintaining your relationship with your partner
Other options for building a family (donor gametes, surrogacy, adoption, child-free living)
Living in the fertile world (coping with friends and family)

Going through infertility does not need to be an isolating and lonely time. Emotional resources are available.

Watch My Interview

featured on Lifetime

Adoption Counseling

As a parent through biology and adoption, as well as a frequent lecturer in the field of adoption, I have extensive experience working with adults exploring this option in building a family. Aside from navigating the numerous choices in adoption (domestic vs. foreign, open vs. closed, agency vs. private), counseling will focus on the myriad of emotions in both the adoptive parents and the future child.

These issues include:

Grieving the absence of pregnancy
Grieving the imagined biological child
Feelings about the birth parent(s)
Possible emotional issues and /or developmental delays
Differences in race/ethnicity
Sharing information with family and friends
Talking to your child about adoption

Parenting through adoption is lifelong and the accompanying joys and challenges continue long after your child joins your family.

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Miscarriage | Stillbirth | Neonatal Loss

Unfortunately, not all hard-won pregnancies result in full-term healthy births, despite the skilled care of physicians and the hyper-vigilance of a healthy pregnant woman. Loss of a planned for baby can be devastating and traumatic for all involved. Yet, few know how to respond and there are no established rituals for grieving and mourning. I have run many groups for women who have miscarried and often counsel these women through subsequent pregnancies, which may evoke great anxiety. I have also helped those parents who have held their babies in their arms for all too brief a time. There is no time-line for grief and no predictable pattern of recovery. Therapy can provide a space to be sad, cry and eventually heal. Husbands and wives may grieve differently. Therapy can validate feelings, while providing an environment to work through painful emotions without avoiding, ignoring, minimizing or denying them.

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Couples Counseling

“When I can freely feel the sense of being a separate person, I can go much more deeply into understanding and accepting him, for I am not fearful of losing myself.” - Carl Rogers

Our relationship with our partner typically faces and endures more stress than any of our adult relationships. When our partnership is solid, we can more easily handle most crises, whether they involve: family, children, work, finances, illness, loss and even death. When we are in conflict with our significant other, however, life becomes much more difficult and, often, unmanageable. The repercussions can be wide-spread.

Seeing a highly trained and experienced couple’s therapist is an important step in assessing and improving the health of your union. It is helpful when both partners want to work on the relationship. However, typically, one partner may be more invested in the couple staying together. As a couple’s therapist, I do a thorough assessment of your relationship and delve into the personal and family history of each partner. I look at your patterns of relating, supporting one another, arguing, problem solving, parenting, and even making love. I try to understand and support how each individual functions as a separate fully evolved person. I explore who has the power in the relationship and who makes decisions. I help couples understand the ineffective ‘scripts’ they use with each other and help them develop new, healthier ways of relating. I work on having each partner understand the feelings and motivations of the other and look beyond the content of their disagreements to what might be maintaining or escalating the conflict.

Sometimes, jealousy can be insidious in a relationship and may reflect one’s own insecurities and need for control. At other times, however, the reality of past or present incidents of infidelity can be the crisis which leads to couples work. Therapy allows a safe place to process the affair, along with the messy feelings of anger, grief, shame and mistrust which can be part of the aftermath of infidelity.

Admittedly, there are those relationships which may no longer be able to endure, despite the investment in therapy. Couples counseling can also function as a way to ensure a break-up where both members are heard and able to part ways without inflicting more damage on each other and on family members.

A skilled therapist does not function as a referee who sides with one partner or another. Neither is a therapist a judge, deciding who is right and who is wrong. As your therapist, I will work to support you as a couple and help you to come to the best decision concerning the future of your relationship. This is not easy work and cannot be accomplished in a few sessions. Yet, the payoff of a healthier partnership can be life-long.

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Grief and Loss

No one escapes this life without experiencing loss and the accompanying grief. Loss may encompass a loved one, a cherished pet, relationships, property, work, and abilities. Yet, while experiencing loss, the world goes on and rarely waits for you to heal or recover. Grief has no timeline and does not always subside in a linear fashion. Years later, triggers can reactivate strong emotions.

Therapy can be a safe place to bring your pain, especially when others may not be available to listen and comfort. We can explore the history of your relationship, how the loss impacts your life, and how to move forward while honoring your grief.

With extensive experience working with the bereaved, taking courses on loss, and possessing a significant library of resources in this field, I am comfortable helping you find a way to not have grief and loss be the centerpiece of your life.

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Orientation

Orientation

Problematic behaviors and feelings often arise from unresolved conflicts from childhood. Consequently, we develop defenses to protect us from painful feelings and help us cope with difficult relationships. When these defenses are no longer effective and are causing more harm than good, we may seek the help of a mental health professional. I practice Insight-Oriented Psychodynamic Therapy. My goal is to help the client gain self-awareness and understanding of the past on present behavior and to develop strategies for change.

The key elements for a successful therapy experience are

A strong working relationship with an empathic and insightful therapist
A desire to change
A willingness to be introspective

Because neurochemistry can also contribute to the inability to manage difficult anxiety, depression, impulsivity, compulsions or obsessions, I work closely with a psychiatrist and may make referrals to explore whether medication may facilitate treatment.

FAQ

Do you take Insurance?

While I do not participate in any insurance panels, I do provide a detailed statement with a diagnosis at the end of each month, which you can submit to your insurance carrier. If you call your insurance carrier, you can find out your insurance coverage for mental health services. Payment is expected at the time of service.

Do you provide a sliding scale?

For a limited number of clients who present a financial hardship, I may provide services for less than my normal fee.

What can I expect during my initial appointment?

For the first session, which will last an hour, we will discuss what brought you to therapy and your past counseling history. We will explore what you hope to gain from therapy and how I might be able to facilitate that process. Most importantly, we will determine if you are comfortable working with me and if I believe I am the right therapist to help you with your concerns. Should we decide to proceed, I will schedule weekly appointments (twice weekly, if necessary) at a mutually agreeable time. If you should need a different level of care or a different therapist, I will make an appropriate referral.

Is our relationship confidential?

Your confidentiality is protected by state law and by the rules of my profession. All information concerning patients is held confidential and is released only through procedures consistent with the law and professional ethics.

Who will answer my phone or email message?

I will personally return all calls and emails within 24 hours. Please feel free to contact me with any additional questions you may have.

About

As an experienced New Jersey Licensed Psychologist who enjoys working with Adolescents, Adults, and Couples, I am effective in developing strong working alliances with my clients to ensure a therapy experience which leads to emotional growth and well-being. Passionate about the work I do, I am constantly working to develop and strengthen my skills through attending workshops, seminars, classes and supervision groups. At the same time, I enjoy teaching and supervising at the graduate level.